


Ashes, Ashes

by hellomiho



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Aelin is tortured for a year, F/M, Gen, If Cairn had been just a tad quicker with the gloriella, Kingdom of Ash Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 21:36:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16503146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellomiho/pseuds/hellomiho
Summary: She burned. Again and again, until she saw flames even in the midst of deep unconsciousness and the smell of burning flesh always seemed to coat the room. The unmoving white wolf’s coat turned grey, covered in ashes,herashes.Maeve’s cruelty knew no bounds.





	Ashes, Ashes

Torn apart land stretched for miles into the horizon, a thick layer of ice already forming; the dry plains had had no protection, had stood no chance against the devastating power of the male Fae. 

He knew it was an act of sheer stupidity to let his power out uselessly like this after already having unleashed it on the Fae commander they had found. He was dangerously near burn out but still, his magic cried out for more.

A hand gripped his shoulder but the warmth barely registered in his mind.

“She’s not here,” Gavriel said gently and there was a pain in his eyes that Rowan wanted to reject, wanted desperately to ignore.

For the commander had hit them with news other than Aelin’s absence: Terrasen had suffered great losses and would not be able to withstand Erawan’s forces for much longer. 

But Gavriel and Lorcan would not dare suggest what they were all thinking. Looking the entire three hundred fifty plus years of his existence, Rowan felt the ever-present weight on his shoulders, a weight that had not left him since he had been on that sandy beach. 

Rowan finally opened his mouth, each word ripping so painfully out of his defeated frame that even Elide could not protest. 

“To Terrasen.”

* * *

 

Only three days had gone by since her escape and rescue by Rowan and the others. And in the cave they hid in now, Aelin felt her heart finally breathe for the first time in months. 

Maeve had gone to see Erawan, giving Aelin no explanation as to why, letting her own mind run wild with the possible reasons. Aelin had been moved, and it had been during that precarious transport that her mate had sprung. 

The loss of the iron chains left her feeling unbearably light and in this rare moment of reprieve, Aelin gazed at the figure of her approaching mate. 

Even during the rescue, Aelin had hardly let herself believe that this was real, although her heart sung at the realisation that Rowan had come for her despite his vows. 

Two months of torture by the hand of Maeve and Cairn were not easily erased. They had branded an indelible mark on her soul, but Aelin made herself ignore that for now. 

She felt a portion of the tightness in her relax as his all too familiar wind caressed her skin. He looked at her lovingly before becoming grim. 

“Aelin, the Wyrdkeys are in danger. We need to get to them immediately.” 

Her heart clenched at the terrible reminder of what still lay in the near future for her, and for a moment, it felt as if she was still shackled in iron. She nodded with a similarly grim expression, but then examined the faces of her companions. There was an unmistakable gleam of hunger in all of their eyes from Gavriel to Rowan, as they awaited her directions. 

Scrambling away from them, Aelin bared her teeth at them even as her mind furiously began to scream in protest.

No, no, this wasn’t-

_ Aelin arched off the altar, and every broken and torn part of her body screamed with her. _

_ Above her, Maeve was smiling, _

“It’s quite a pity Prince Rowan is in Terrasen with the shapeshifter and not here for you, isn’t it?” 

Furiously scalding tears streamed down her face beneath the cold iron. She tried to move her legs despite knowing the futility of her efforts and then screamed and screamed at the  _ red-hot lightning that lashed her.  _

_ Maeve’s words were soft as a lover’s  _ as she laid a hand on Aelin’s mutilated legs.

“If you’d only tell me their location, this could all end right now.”

No. It hadn’t been real, it hadn’t been real.

And although Aelin had thought herself used to Maeve’s cunning deceptions, she felt a small part of herself die with the illusion that had faded away.

* * *

_ This wasn’t just a breaking of her body. But a breaking of her—of the fire she’d come to love. To destroy the part of her that sang. _

_ He’d melt her skin and bones until she feared the flame, until she hated it, as she hated those healers who had come again and again to repair her body, to hide what was real from what had been a dream. _

_ Fenrys’s snarl rolled on, endless. _

_ Cairn said mildly, “You can scream all you like, if it pleases you.” _

_ The table would turn red-hot, and the scent of burning flesh would fill her nose, and she wouldn’t be able to stop it, stop him; she would sob in agony, as the burns went so deep, through skin and into bone— _

She burned. Again and again, until she saw flames even in the midst of deep unconsciousness and the smell of burning flesh always seemed to coat the entire room. The unmoving white wolf’s coat turned grey, covered in ashes,  _ her _ ashes.

The feeling of her fire’s strain pressing and pressing in desperate need of release, caused her entire body to erupt in chills. Even after her body was healed so that not a single mark was left on her skin, she felt a constant, terrible heat eating at her. Uncontrollable tremors that further chafed her skin against the iron wracked her until finally, in fear for her sanity, she went into herself. 

She had plunged deeply into her magic so many times before, feeling for its depth. But this time, she pushed against the pressing of her fire, pushing it down and down and down until finally, she could no longer feel its warmth. Exhaustion immediately overwhelmed her, but she refused to let go of her own iron grip on her magic. If that was the cost of the suppression of the terrifying fire inside her, she was more than willing to pay it.

* * *

As she lay upon her sacrificial altar, Aelin saw the wolf bristle before blinking four times at her over and over again. Despite her exhaustion, Aelin felt herself stiffen in wait for what had terrified Fenrys so.

And then the scent wafted onto the altar and-

No.

The unfamiliar and yet unmistakable scent of pine hit Aelin harder than any of Cairn’s blows and she began shaking her head crazily in denial as she realised Maeve’s plan. 

No. No. No.

An unaided man slumped into the room and Fenrys’ snarl at him went unnoticed as she looked upon him. He seemed a frail echo of Rowan with shoulders that hunched into himself and an ashen shade to his bronze skin. Before she saw any more, before she felt any more, Aelin quickly shut her eyes tight, although she was unable to suppress an involuntary tremor. 

Afterward, she wasn’t sure as to what was real and what was yet another illusion, much like everything else she experienced. But even in that haze, she remembered with a cold accuracy the biting ice of that wind, mercilessly ripping into her and stealing any air she could muster while she tried to gasp and scream in pain.

* * *

 

There was no dragonglass this time, but Aelin found herself kneeling at the base of the throne once more. The weight of something being laid upon her head barely registered in her mind, as she focused on the wolf forced to sit at Maeve’s side. He sat stiffly while Maeve’s hand stroked his fur as if he were a pet. 

All aspects of time were lost to her in this infinite hell but Fenrys was her only constant.  _ Chained by invisible bonds,  _ he was forced to bear witness to Maeve’s unending cruelty. His cool eyes grew emptier every day barring the unrelenting, cold fury, but their silent conversation was the only thing Aelin could rely on. 

Ever so rarely, Fenrys would be ordered to tend to her in his Fae form. As if Maeve knew when Aelin was close to irreparably breaking, she would order Fenrys to tend to her, effectively ripping Aelin’s emotional scars anew so numbness was no longer an option. 

Those rare moments were precious: the touch of the sole person whose aim was not to break her, the touch of the only other person who knew and shared this pain. 

After the death of Connall, there were no more tears shared between them but a silent bond and promise.

_ “I am here. I am with you.” _

“Your crown,” Maeve imperiously declared with a beautiful smirk.

“It is, after all, your coronation day.” 

It had been too long since the last time Aelin had spoken instead of screamed but Aelin felt at a loss for words, her mouth suddenly dry. 

Erawan had been defeated. 

Erawan had been defeated.

Somehow, Dorian had sacrificed himself in her place to forge the Lock and her court had managed to destroy the Valg forces.

Maeve continued to speak but her words were an unintelligible murmur to the kneeling queen. 

A single tear streamed down her face and Aelin silently blinked four times at the wolf before closing her eyes and bowing her head.

Terrasen was saved.

* * *

 

“It's a shame, my dear niece, that we were unable to see eye to eye. For now, it seems you have outlived your worth to me.”  

With a lazy wave of her hand as if Aelin was not worthy of more of her attention, Maeve carelessly ordered Cairn,

“Kill her.”

* * *

 

After the death of Connall, Fenrys had thought he had experienced the peak of the pain Maeve could inflict on him. 

But he had been wrong. So very wrong. 

As Maeve personally increased the severity of Aelin’s torture, Fenrys had been forced to watch every single thing, watching Aelin experience torture he had not known was possible to survive. 

He had stood in place for an insurmountable amount of time, watching her burn, unable to move as his white fur became thick with her ashes. 

He had been forced to watch silently, powerless to do anything other than what Maeve commanded him to do, in a constant reminder that he was hers in every way that mattered. He saw the one queen he would have freely sworn an oath to, being ripped apart each and every day, until she began to question her own sanity and self.

But even then, Aelin had refused to surrender to Maeve, silently going against her in whatever way she was able to. 

This silent submission to Maeve...

He’d never seen it from her, not once. 

But he understood that Maeve’s words had told Aelin that her court had been saved and that she was no longer needed. 

He saw the gleaming malice in Cairn’s smirking face, more than eager to lay his finishing blow on the woman who had served as his toy.

_ And Fenrys couldn’t allow it. _

_ He couldn’t allow it. In his shredded soul, in what was left of him after all he’d been forced to see and do, he couldn’t allow it. _

_ The blood oath kept his limbs planted. A dark chain that ran into his soul. _

_ He would not allow it. That final breaking. _

_ He pushed upward against the bond’s dark chain, screaming, though no sound came from his open maw. _

_ He pushed and pushed and pushed against those invisible chains, against that blood-sworn order to obey, to stay down, to watch. _

_ He defied it. All that the blood oath was. _

_ Pain lanced through him, into his very core. _

_ He blocked it out as Cairn  _ sauntered over to _ the young queen with a heart of wildfire. _

_ He would not allow it. _

_ Snarling, the male inside him thrashing, Fenrys bellowed at the dark chain binding him. _

_ He shredded into it, biting and tearing with every scrap of defiance he possessed. _

_ Let it kill him, wreck him. He would not serve. Not another heartbeat. He would not obey. _

_ He would not obey. _

_ And slowly, Fenrys got to his feet. _

* * *

 

Maeve stared at the wolf that now rose against her with narrowed eyes even as she feigned an indifferent curiosity.

“I wondered if I had killed Connall too quickly. But here you are amusing me.” 

Her mouth twisted into a terrible smirk, before pointing her finger at him. 

A black whip lashed out, creating a coil of darkness around the white wolf’s neck.

_ Then the darkness expanded, encompassing  _ Fenrys _ again and squeezing tight, squeezing until he was screaming, screaming in a way that meant unfathomable agony. _

* * *

 

The terrible screams of the wolf penetrated Aelin’s ears and her head snapped up to the throne, throwing off the crown. 

Fenrys spasmed in agony with blood dripping down his snout and eyes, and even then, he took an unsteady step towards Maeve. But his eyes were steadily closing as he fought against his very blood. 

Aelin could not accept it. Could not accept that the one being who had shared this hell with her, that the one being who had saved her and served as her anchor, would die. Would  _ leave  _ her. 

Something in her snapped. 

Pure white flames erupted in a pillar of fire around her, lighting up the sky into a blinding white-out before exploding from her with a deafening boom. 

And Aelin burned and she burned and she burned.

* * *

 

The wolf slowly blinked as he awoke, the smell of ash heavy in his snout. The memories of what had happened rushed back into his mind and he quickly stood, feeling every muscle in him scream in protest at the movement. 

He was surrounded by…blackness.

As he slowly turned around, he saw no remains of the throne he had been next to or the shining palace he had been in. 

The only sign of life against this scorched land was the woman who lay sleeping, her long blonde locks sprawled around her pale form. It was only after he was assured that no threats were near that he padded towards his queen and collapsed next to her. 

* * *

The sky turned white and Rowan staggered to his knees from the sheer strength with which the mating bond thrummed in his chest.

_ “Aelin.” _

**Author's Note:**

> Italicised phrases longer than 2-3 words are quotes from the TOG series. In the order they appear, the quotes are from Kingdom of Ash pgs. 187, 233, 241-242) and Empire of Storms pg. 660.
> 
> The events of the last two scenes will be explained more in the next chapter. 
> 
> Aelin pushing down her power was inspired by the Grisha trilogy (highly recommend!), in which Alina suppresses her power when she was a child in order to not be taken away.
> 
> I absolutely loved the relationship that Fenrys and Aelin developed and I would have liked to read more scenes of Aelin recovering from Maeve’s torture and only able to bear being near Fenrys. This story was inspired by that desire so there’ll be a lot of (platonic) Aelin/Fenrys. 
> 
> I also thought that Maeve conditioning Aelin to fear Rowan despite their mating bond could also be really interesting to play with. What can I say, I just really like angst


End file.
